I was talking to my mother the other night and she said as she often does, "No one at work is going to care when you leave." I say that often as well. My mom recently said to me. "Why do we let life get in the way?" Another question I ponder quite frequently, more at times than others. This is my topic for today.
What is so important in our everyday life that we seem to do so much less of the things that really make us happy, whole even? I, like most individuals spend 8-9 hours a day of my most productive waking hours working. Why? Well, I suppose it has become a necessity to live the American Dream. I mean no one else is going to put food on my table, a roof over my head. Okay, so that is not entirely true. I mean I could go on wellfare, get food stamps and get subsidized housing. Heck, I could even get unemployment if I really, really wanted too. Trust me, there are people who do it because they can. And there are others who would do anything to get off it. This is no way a shot at anyone... this is just me, thinking... okay, writing out loud. The reality is I have a fantastic family and as for my first 20 years, my family did do all of this for me and I will be forever grateful. However, now, at 34 I am too DAMN proud to accept these things. I suppose I get that from my family too.
Okay, so work is definitely one of those things that occupies the better part of our time. If you have kids, well, then we know where a lot of the rest of your time goes: diapers, feedings, making dinner, lunches, breakfast, helping them get their clothes, reminding them not to forget their homework, taking them to their friends houses, to practice, to games. Your days are endlessly chaulked full.
What about weekends? Can't you squeeze in a phone call here to someone that was on your mind? Maybe at the store pick up that small something that reminds you of someone and send it there way. Yeah, but then you got to make the post office before it closes... oh and your still at work. I know they have extended hours now but now its a rush to do everything. You know what, that rush that you put yourself through just to make that extra trip or make that quick call can hang onto someone who appreciates it more than you will ever know. My grandmother was all about that... never, ever forgot my birthday, always had that something special for me just because I was on her mind. I am pretty sure this is where my Mom gets it. Again, I would be wrong not to say that I am very lucky as a person for the family I have because others I keep dear to my heart do the same but I know as me, I long to be like and well, I come up short, pretty frequently. I have great intentions. Ask my wife. I come up with ideas that I am going to do this, I am going to do that and well, I never get around to it.
Something always seem to get in my way. I have friends that I have not seen in months, family that I use to see every year in well over five years and that is because of a wedding or a funeral... the only true times we tend to carve out a piece of our time for someone else. Why? Why is this? Why can I not take that 10 minutes a day and write a letter? Make a phone call? Wrap a present and bring it to the post office just because? I can and I am going to try so much harder, starting today.
I am going to apologize right now for something that has been on my mind for a while... I am sorry to my god daughter Sara for missing out on so many things and not calling you on your birthday and settling for an e-mail. Yeah, I have my own family and things going on but you know what? I accepted being your God Father a long time ago when I was younger and I often feel I have come up short. I am sorry for this and I want you to know how much I love you!! My brother has been great in this respect and I am very glad I was able to make your graduation from high school.
Okay, bottom line, we let life get in the way because we chose to!! Yes, we all make choices and no one is ever perfect or right for that matter but doesn't mean I can't make sure I make those small things matter becasue I can and I am going to try damn hard to do so from this point on. I have a lot of time to make up for.